This or That?
Resilience: a 21st century skill.
On lone days, I wake up to wish the world isn’t as complicated as it is and on exciting days, my wish is still no different. Only if there was a road map and an easy way, things would be better, I would always say to myself. Up till now, my wishes are still wishes and the days would keep rolling by leaving them as wishes. The world is simply plagued with stress, struggles, challenges and weary events.
Each day brings its own while, we learn to hit it heads-on leaving an achieved feat or a lasting impact which sometimes can be so traumatic that we just want to leave this ‘goddamn’ world. Maybe if we had the privilege of using a fast forward button, we would all skip the negative scenes and vibe our energies for the thrilling and exciting moments. I would prefer that too... it’s not just happening so soon. So, what do we do?
Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from difficulties,overcome adversities and withstand hard times or tough things.
Today, it stands to be one of the greatest soft skill of this century that a man should possess because, things are not just meant to be all easy.
Does this appear like what you do or can do? Hold on, don’t respond yet.
In all of the terrifying moments and trying times, it’s amazing to know some persons adjust and adapt so well while the tune of this song is different for others. Is it the loss of a job? The demise of a loved one? Repeated academic failures? Losing your health? Or being stranded financially?...all of this are not palatable situations yet, they happen and often, we do not have absolute control over them.
Looking around me, it was easy to think resilience was a gift that some have and some just don’t. I mean, I so much admire the lives of some individuals, keenly watching the actions they take when things are not going on well with them and at different occasions, I have had the cause to pause and ask me: shouldn’t this people be worried about their situation? My curiosity definitely killed the cat.
Don’t blame me! Now I know better.
Resilience is not a gift and if were to be, that means we all are entitled to it. Rather, it is a skill and one thing I know about skills is that, they can be learnt and developed.
Identifying resilient persons.
1. They tend to have good problem solving skills.
2. They seek help from others.
3. They are optimistic; believing something positive can always be done to manage their thoughts and feelings.
4. They take the edges off discomforts and vulnerabilities.
5. They complain less.
You still remember the question above: Does this appear like what you can do or you do?
If your answer is near yes or no, this read is definitely yours.
One cold evening, myself and a friend had a long talk. She is a very good writer and I can almost place my bet, she had things working for her. As our conversation began to hit deep, I noticed she was near tears. What could have happened? I thought to myself.
She then narrated how she got out of her could- be biggest writing job after putting her heart and soul to it and all because her boss wasn’t so pleased with her works, instead of putting her through the formats he wanted, he simply ceased communication with her and that was the end. She strongly felt she wasn’t just good enough and had stopped writing since then. This affected her other involvements as well. Eventually she said, “I don’t think writing is for me, I might just learn something else”. We talked and as a friend, I said as much as I could to help. Most importantly, I was glad she could share with me and accepted the support I offered as well. All it took was a matter of months before she stopped self doubting herself and started to write again.
5 important ways to build and develop resilience.
1. Connect with people and accept care from those who offer it.
It is sometimes sad to see good relationships turn sour because someone after facing a challenge decides to self isolate and most likely, lie to the people who seem to care. Again, struggles are mutual. Do not keep masking yours pretending it’s all perfect.
If you do any of the above, a good reason you probably have given yourself is, 'I need to be alone’. Check it! Sometimes, what you lack is the resilient spirit.
2. Embrace positive thinking
Optimism isn’t common to every individual but it can be learnt too. Accept the things you cannot change and learn valid lessons from your past in being a better person. Start to see things in the light of the greater good. The more you see, the brighter the image you give yourself.
3. Cultivate hope
In a similar vein to the above, hope isn’t an emotion as we sometimes tend to see it. Hope isn’t a feeling. Hope is an expectation, cognitive process that can birth solid thought patterns.
4. Engage your self worth
In the stressful and trying period of life while we seek to heal and recover quickly, we can also engage ourselves in the duty of helping others. As you saddle through the experiences of others, yours might just be a bite from the chunk. You learn, unlearn and at the same time help someone else through the recovery process.
5. Make Journals and Meditate
Taking a step backward to think of the journey up to the difficult times, previous tough moments you have successfully beaten, accounting for the measures taken then and now, praying, journaling arising thoughts and ideas in making better decisions this time... is a great step to being resilient. In another way, count your blessings as often as you can.
Like every other skill set that can be learnt, everyone can learn it. Don’t be worried it may take time to build, what would be more important later is that, you built it.
The silent and loud wishes may not do, as the world also might not take a break from shooting tough things, adversities and difficulties at us. We can take a breath and withstand them, take a step and overcome them.
On this bucket list, it is either This; this tough time or That; that tough you. Like that old saying, one has to last.
